Forget morality, propriety and the sanctity of marriage for a minute. If this is the first time this week that you have done that you should get out more. Let’s take a look at this Tiger thing from a more pragmatic stance. Let’s dissect this thing in a way that may actually help others.
If I was one of Tiger’s boys here is what I would say to him.
What the hell were you thinking? Of all the dumbass common ways to get caught, texting and talking on your cell phone is the worst. Especially for a guy that is sponsored by AT& fricking T. All you would have to do is make one call to any of your people and tell them that you not only need a new cell phone once a week…month whatever and it’s done. Tell them you have a stalker or some other easy to remember lie. Have the phone sent to the locker room each week or your office. You keep the original one that your wife calls you on and make sure that she never sees the other one.
Secondly, you have a phone sent to the girl or girls. No voice mail set up, you already learned that one the hard way didn’t you? Texting is OK but she will never be able to prove that it is you. These girls already know that you are married. You didn’t have to lie to them. So to ensure their discretion you make sure that your ass is covered.
And finally, and this is the most important part, hire someone that you trust to manage your booty. Booty management usually falls under the caddy’s heading but in this case Stevie probably has enough to deal with on his own. If you think this is a dumb idea think again. Tiger already has a staff of dozens, what is one more guy? Put him under the heading of public relations. Hell, call him your short game guru if you want but make sure that whenever **** falls from the sky it lands on him.
I guess they didn’t teach a class in booty management at Stanford.
In truth I hope that Tiger has some boys that he can talk to about all this. Every man finds himself in a compromising situation at some point in his life. Inevitably these compromising situations involve either money or sex, usually both. What gets you through these times is generally your boys. A good bartender helps too, just stay away from the cocktail waitress. I hope that Tiger has some boys that he can have a beer with and unload a little bit. If he doesn’t then the price of fame is way too high.

by: John Maginnes
www.kerplookee.com