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The problems with playing well

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  • #1

    The problems with playing well

    I've finally sorted my swing out after 15 years of trying. My last 3 scores have been 72, 74 and 68. I am convinced it will continue and I will get my handicap down.

    The problem is "playing partners"

    Whenever I play well, I always seem to get "remarks" and "comments" from my playing partners. Some get quite nasty.

    Examples : "Golf's easy when you drive it as long as you do "

    "Your getting alot of luck, today"

    "Not another one !" after a birdie or a long putt goes in.

    I was playing today and my playing partner literally exploded with aload of abuse. All directed at me because I was playing well and he was having a bad game. He said "It's no fun watching you blast it down the middle and pepper flags all day when I can't hit the ball"

    I said, "Do you want me to play badly ?"

    He later said "sorry" but I can only see more of this happening. My playing partner is in his 60's and as a 22 handicap. I always try to encourage him but he puts me off so much some of the time I delebrately miss putts and do bad shots so I don't hear more moaning and whinging. He's always on about giving the game up or going home.

    I also lost 2 playing partners last year because I was getting too good for them.
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  • #2
    Re: The problems with playing well

    What a wonderful problem! Too good for your own good. They will get used to you, give them time to adjust. Just keep giving them more and more strokes and take it all in stride. Make sure you do not throw shots just to keep the peace. Bury them in your great play.
    Last edited by GregJWillis; 07-31-2007, 01:12 PM.

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    • #3
      Re: The problems with playing well

      Thanks for your reply !

      I try to tell them to play their own game and not bother with mine.

      Today I was stood over some putts and hoping I was going to miss.

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      • #4
        Re: The problems with playing well

        That is pathetic. Time to get a new playing buddy. I am a 23 HCP and would be thrilled to play with someone of your caliber. There would be so much to learn and thrilling to see how low scores are shot. Don't throw away shots to appease this bad loser, you worked hard to get to where you are at, why should you play bad just to make a duffer feel happy?

        One solution to this is to set your course handicaps before teeing off and then play for net score against your "friend". He should be able to play to around par (about 94 for him on a par 72 with a 113 slope). You on the other hand will have to play really well to get your net par for the round. That would make him feel he was still in the game even though he'd be shooting bogies to your pars. You may even find yourself saying "not again" as he rolls in a par, pressuring you to get a birdie.

        If he is still being a cry baby then dump him and find someone else to play with.

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        • #5
          Re: The problems with playing well

          My playing partner is my Dad so I don't have much option who to play with since I still live at home.

          We play a revised stableford system to get an even match. It's all square so far this season but I've won the last 5 matches. He plays well when there is alot of run on but not in soggy conditions. I would rather lose every match than put up with the stuff I do. It's not every now and again either but basically every round. He constantly moans about his bad luck and says he's quitting the game every time he plays. I remind him he's won more competitions than me this year but he still whinges.

          I try and encourage him with "good shot" and "good putt" but it's like playing with a time bomb. He sometimes starts on the 2nd hole. It's moan, moan, moan about his bad luck. And then he starts on me with little digs about how far I hit the ball, lucky bounces etc.

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          • #6
            Re: The problems with playing well

            Hmmm your Dad eh? That makes it a bit more tricky. Maybe have a man to man with him and say "Why did we start playing golf together Dad? To have a bit of fun, Father and Son together..". Then explain that it is not fun at the moment and it is not fun becuase of his bad sportsmanship. "You always taught me to be gracious in defeat" should hammer the message home.

            If this doesn't get through to him then try a more radical approach, after he has hit a good drive or putt and is all happy with himself, turn around and and tell him "You are so lucky" etc, wait for the astonished look on his face and then say, "doesn't feel so good when someone says that after you just hit a good shot eh?".

            Good luck.

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            • #7
              Re: The problems with playing well

              Wow, Dad p!ssing and moaning... that's a tough one.

              Look at it as training - how to block out those who would effect your game.

              Treat it like the guy who jingles coins while you setup.

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              • #8
                Re: The problems with playing well

                I started golf after most of my friends. I took lessons all last summer and they didin't take any - ever. I used to be three clubs behind them, now they need more club then me. It is diconcerting when I am about to tee off, and they anounce to other players that joined us - look what club he is hitting with - look how far he hits a 7 iron - or you close the club face that's why you hit it so far - and I will invariably duff the shot. I enjoy plaing with people beter than me, who hit the ball farther - it is a thrill to watch - I think some people find it hard to see others get better and that's no good for anyone. However, there is a larger relationship you have your friends, and in your case it is your father. Perhaps if you made him aware that his attitude effects your enjoyment of the game he would lighten up. It may be that he is totally unaware of how he is behaving.

                James

                James
                Last edited by jamesh; 07-31-2007, 05:11 AM.

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                • #9
                  Re: The problems with playing well

                  Well, in all my years here I have never heard such a load of codswallop......!!!!

                  I can't believe a parent would act this way about his son's ability, after all no doubt he played a hand in you been that good in the first place.

                  I can't wait to say my son is Club Champion, Tour Player, or simply just a decent chap with a decent game.

                  I suggest you find some guys at the club who you can compete with and enjoy the battle, drop Dad and explain it's time he found some old guys at the club to play with, prob commitee members, they like moaning.

                  Print these replies off and slip them into his golf bag.....!!!

                  Keep playing well and go and win the Singles Club Championship.


                  Ian.

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                  • #10
                    Re: The problems with playing well

                    dad or no dad i would tell him to stop twining or else
                    in a reversal of your situation i used to play the odd round with my son but got so sick of his behaviour i told him where to get off!

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                    • #11
                      Re: The problems with playing well

                      To be fair to my Dad, I do my fair share of moaning especially when I'm playing badly. My biggest moan is when my club decide to place the flags in US Open style positions.

                      But if I do complain then my Dad goes nuts, tells me off, tells me to stop moaning etc.

                      Two years ago I played in a better ball medal with my Dad. I had one of those rounds, holed everything and had a gross 65 (5 under). I came in on every hole and our better ball score was a 61. He did nothing but complain that day. A constant rant about how well I was playing. On the last I holed a great putt for a par and he stormed off in a huff. We won the comp but he said he didn't want the money voucher or the trophy.

                      Nowadays, I make sure he comes on one hole early on so I don't have to listen to all the moaning.

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                      • #12
                        Re: The problems with playing well

                        I'm sorry to hear it, I really am.

                        I look forward to the day when 1) my kids are old enough to play with me, and 2) whoop my arse if I don't get better. I can see how if your Dad hacks it around, he could be jealous of your game (I would be).

                        Have you offered to help him out? Club selection, course management, that kind of thing?

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                        • #13
                          Re: The problems with playing well

                          I always try to help him with his swing.

                          His trouble is distance but he is 66. He always tries to hit the ball too hard.

                          I sometimes out drive him by 70 yards and when I'm stood over my second shot I can hear him moaning to himself about it.

                          I keep telling him a 22 handicap isn't bad for his age. And he as won 3 times this year compared to my 2 times.

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                          • #14
                            Re: The problems with playing well

                            He's got me by 36 years, and 1 handicap point.

                            If golf is that much pain for him, perhaps it's time to stop.

                            It's still fun for me. Perhaps if I haven't improved over the next 30 years I'll start to whine.

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                            • #15
                              Re: The problems with playing well

                              Originally posted by ThePuttKing65 View Post
                              I always try to help him with his swing.

                              His trouble is distance but he is 66. He always tries to hit the ball too hard.

                              I sometimes out drive him by 70 yards and when I'm stood over my second shot I can hear him moaning to himself about it.

                              I keep telling him a 22 handicap isn't bad for his age. And he as won 3 times this year compared to my 2 times.

                              22 HCP means just shy of bogie golf which is excellent for someone who has lost a lot of distance.

                              Maybe you should suggest he tees it up with other 22 HCPers.

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