Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

Hi Kerry,

Taking account of your golfing ambitions I should have thought you would be fairly happy with your current handicap and would accept a few blow up holes for what they are, exactly that.

I am no expert in anger management and have had my moments of frustration and self doubt over time. I think we have to get these things into perspective and create a mindset that shields out the self mental flagellation when we play under our expectations.

You will be of no less worth as a person by a bad game, no one will burn down your house, shoot your dog, declare war or post the results in a national paper. How did that old song go "Life will always be worthwhile if you just smile" It's worth a try.

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

I can only offer what I've been learning... and that's that you need to let the past be the past. You can't do anything about the last shot you hit, only the next one. And while we state that you hit this shot to set up the next one, you can't think about the future, either.

You identify your breakdown on 17. You're 20 yards out (short) after 2... but then take 5 more strokes. Did you start thinking about the easy 4 rather than focusing on the shot at hand?

Don't get me wrong - I'm not a fabulous golfer. I'm just reading a ton about Mushin and reading some Rotella, and hope to put it into practice.

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

It's something I am working on too. You hit your best drive and have an easy pitch and you flub it into a bunker and then take 2 to get out only to skull it right into a bush, drop, flubbed chip and a 3 putt. It's hard not to go berserk. In the past I would have no doubt lost it to a certain extent. On occasion I still get pissed off and mutter and complain under my breath.

But now I see that it does no good. Your shoulders drop, posture gets all out of whack and you, as Dr Phil would say "create what you fear".

Dr Joseph Parent suggests after a bad shot saying, "Hmmm how unlike me" distancing yourself from it and discarding it immediately. A good shot is rewarded by holding your finish until it drops and a small show of emotion (a little fist pump of whatever). You then distance yourself from the bad and reinforce the good stuff.

Often I find I can get through a bad shot by making a joke, "I guess i'll lay up then" after a 30 yard flub off the tee, I find it relives the tension and I am more likely to step up and hit a great 2nd shot than if I slam down my club, mutter and grumble all the way to the ball, and then step up and chunk it another 30 yards. It's as if it goes all dark when I am pissed and I don't see a bunker up ahead or a stream. When I shrug or laugh it off, I can see a lot clearer and will make a much better decision at the next shot.

Does this make sense to anyone?

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

i dont! period!

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

I read this tip on another golf website, and I think I may have even posted it on this site already. If so, it won't hurt to post it again. It will ease your problem.

If you have problems with playing one, or two holes poorly, and letting it ruin the other 16, or 17, then break the course down into 3 groups of 6 holes, or even 6 groups of 3 holes. Some of the professionals play this way, while changing to a new ball after each group. So, it does have merit. I play 6 groups of 3 holes myself most of the time, while competing with myself. If I play one hole poorly, then all I have is high score for that group of three holes. After that group of three holes is over, I start over fresh with a new set of three holes.

If you go out with the plan to just play 18 holes, and you score poorly on one hole, then mentally you have ruined the other 17. Multiple starting, and ending points (holes) will prevent the ruination of an entire round of golf based on one bad hole.

My best score for three holes is 4 under par, (eagle, & 2 birdies) while my worst score has been 5 over par (2 double, & 1 bogey) for another three holes. Fortunately they were not during the same round, and quite a few years a part from each other. GJS

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

I think the nature of this is part of the challenge of what makes golf great. Think of it as being one of the most important and challenging parts of the game - every bit as important as the full swing and putting.

<facetiousness warning>
If it was easy, it would called 'football'
</facetiousness>

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

apologies for going off topic

did you know that the word facetious is the only word in the english dictionary that contains all 5 vowel and in the right order!

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

If you can be facetious then that gives me an excuse to sound a little pretentious and to try for Pseuds Corner.

When I'm playing badly [which is not infrequently ] I remind my self that I'm out in the open air, with a good mate or mates, taking some time out; I reflect that at least I'm healthy enough to walk 3-4 miles and to have a look around me, and, of course that the torture will soon end and I can have a beer .

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

hi
when playing badly and things are just not working i never try and change things on the golf course, i try and work with what i have and dont play 18 holes but play each hole as a challange, that way i always have a couple of good holes in a bad round and then go work on the things that went wrong at the range.
bill

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

Slats

I am not trying to be facetious by saying abstemious is another

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

smartarse!
i was told there was only one but never checked out the integrity of the claim!

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?


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Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

Hi Mariner,

A good mental approach is the hardest thing to get right in golf. It's one of the biggest reasons that Tiger is so good.

From your post I sense a very real desire to improve. I also sense that you're not a person that doesn't practice. You do. You invest time. You want your practice to bear fruit on the course. I have suffered from exactly the same thing. In fact, I do today.

Right now, it seems that no matter how much I practice (every day) my scoring is stuck in the mid-seventies. Now, in the grand scheme of things a lot of people would be happy to go through the rest of their golfing days shooting 75 or 76 with the odd bad round resulting in a 79 or 81. Don't get me wrong. There's absolutley nothing wrong with that at all. I would accept that if I didn't want to shoot a 66 every 5 or 6 rounds.

For me, however, I want to shoot in the 60's. I have a life-long habit of wanting bigger and better for myself. It's just who I am. The same can be said of when I was playing from a handicap of 16. I did what I needed to do to get better. But the better I get, the harder improvement is. It may sound funny but I know exactly what you mean when you post a decent number but feel like you've shot 100. When I'm having a bad day I feel like I could have quadrupled my handicap, but invariably my score is "a bad 79".................................I say this not to come across as arrogant. It's the same problem, just at a slightly different level. It's the same reason pro's get hacked off when they shoot +2 on a good scoring day. My next step is not allowing my desire to get into the 60's ruin my golf game, which is pretty good (I have to tell myself that too! When I start telling myself I'm **** my friends and playing partners get annoyed. And rightly so. I'm not ****. Just not as good as I want to be.)

I can, however, give you some of the ideas that have worked for me to get to a 5 handicap and play to it regularly.

The first, and possibly the most important, is picking your attitude before you even get to the course. Even the day before you're going to play. Decide that if you hit a bad shot it will not bother you.

In addition to this, really allow youself to appreciate your good shots.

Emotional reaction is the main factor in engraining our memories. We remember what made us sad and what made us happy. If we chose to not let what would normally make us sad affect us, then the association between the painful memory and the actual event is reduced. Eventually, the good times on the course that are stored in our heads outweigh the bad both by number and intensity. That, in turn, leads to only having a positive memory bank of experiences to draw upon when things go awry (and when things are going well). And your mind will be in a much better place in order to deal with bad experiences as a result.

You say that you enjoy playing well but when you hit that first bad shot, it starts the dominoes falling. I presume from this that if your first hole is bad, then the rest of the round can be a mental wash-out. If this is the case, picking your attitude will help. If you can remember, right now, starting a round with a bad hole but going on to play well, you have more in your mental locker than you realise already. In fact, I think you do because you yourself said that you bounced back from a double bogey to birdie the next. Not easy to do. Especially if one is emotionally fragile................... a possible self fulfilling prophecy, me thinks??!

At my old course the first hole was a 412 yard par 4, invariably into a strong wind. OB left, ditch right, ditch crossing the fairway at 255. I cannot count the number of times I started with a 6. I do, however, remember that on many many occasions during the walk from the first green to the second tee I resolved myself to not letting it spoil my round. Out of those occasions I most definately remember coming back to shoot 71 or 72 more than once.

So, as if to prove the point, I can't remember how many times I double-bogeyed the first. The memory is there, but it is only that. But I do remember feeling good about the next hole and the rest of the round, and I definately remember some great scores coming off the back of a bad start. I feel real good about those. To help illustrate further, my brother played alongside me earlier this year and he picked his attitude very well (a notorious hot-head on the course!). When reflecting on his round on the way home he was revelling in consecutive par-saves and a couple of good shots he'd hit. He plays off about 20. Not wishing to drag him down, I didn't say what I was thinking. A couple of days later I mentioned to him that he took 5 off the tee on the 10th as he knocked 2 tee shots OB.............. he didn't remember until I mentioned it. Good stays good. Bad is forgotten.

It takes a while to develop this frame of mind and me old mate Percy Vearence plays a huge part, but in time you can train your brain to allow you to perform better more often. I'm not saying that you can drag yourself out of the doldrums every time. It just doesn't work that way. There will be days when no matter what you try "it" just doesn't happen. Strangely enough, realising this will also go a long way to nulling the effects of a bad shot/hole/round in the long term.

From what you have detailed about your round, you made some tactically good decisions i.e. resigning to taking a 4 on a par 3 when you couldn't get near the pin with your second. Good thinking. Saved yourself a 5 or a 6. You do, however, label the hole as "easy". I had this discussion with my playing partner yesterday. A golf hole is only as easy as you make it.

Generally, I hate using quotations as I think that they can appear condescending and patronising. Please don't take it as this, but maybe if you re-read what you've written you may start to see some things:

"I admit breaking 80 became a goal after 9 holes but I know the dangers of thinking like that and as far as I can tell I played one shot at a time"

I don't wish to appear a pedant, but the above statement is a contradiction in terms. To quote Bob Rotella: "Players who think of giving the winners speech before they're finished never get a chance to deliver it".

"I then gave up and played the last hole in a haze of uncaring anger and frustration adding another double bogie to finish with 84"

And had you not been angry you may have played the last hole to par, shot an 82 and been 3 better than your handicap.

"I thought I may have felt OK if it had been the other way round and I had gone out in 47 then finished in 37, until I realised that for me it would be impossible to shoot 37 after a 47"

This is a very strong thing to say about yourself. Can you imagine sitting in your lounge at the end of the day being able to look back on a round in which you chopped the course up on the front 9 shooting a 47 but heroically pulling it back with a 37 on the back to shoot under your handicap? What a wonderful thing that would be. Definately something to be proud of.

Give yourself the chance to do that. "I can't" never got anybody anywhere. "Impossible" has already given up the fight. You haven't given up the fight otherwise you wouldn't be on this forum, and you wouldn't sit at work day-dreaming about being out on the course and hitting great shots and sinking putts, and you wouldn't sort out next weekend's round on Monday mornings.

By the very nature of your post I think you have the ability to get where you want to get (our friend Mr Bob Rotella is back for this one) "you've just got to get out of your own way and use it".

Re: How do you enjoy golf when playing badly?

Many thanks for that, there's a lot of helpful stuff in there. I think I am getting nervous about blowing up when I play badly because my annual trip to Scotland is coming up in 3 weeks and I can't wait, it's the highlight of my year, but I desperately want to play well.
Four of us go every year and play two rounds a day for a week and it's just great.
Last year I nearly made it without exploding but lost it on the very last round . . . . it is easier on unfamiliar courses because there is less expectation and more forgiveness
I think your comment about picking your attitude before you start is a good idea as is the one from another post about playing the course in 6 sets of 3 holes instead of 18, the feeling that you can "start again" 5 times has got to be helpful if you are not quite on song.
I've got all Dr. Bob Rotella's books and know they are right, but I just have a bad disposition for this great game - Koreans and Swedes seem to be able to keep cool more than most but I'm half Italian . . .
I haven't played since that 37/47 on Monday and my next round will be the Sunday competition - I promise to smile at whatever happens!