dear marge

[slater170]

Dear marge

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice.

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of her when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls".

When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a
hairline crack right by the club head.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop where I bought it?

Signed,

Perplexed

[Ian Hancock]

Re: dear marge

Pure quality mate,

Laughing my bag off.


Ian.

[slater170]

Re: dear marge

Pure quality mate,

Laughing my bag off.


Ian.

glad you liked it mate

i cant bang on about 3skillsgolf all day!

[LowPost42]

Re: dear marge

This one's been making the rounds.

In the Americas, it's 'Dear Abby'.

[slater170]

Re: dear marge

This one's been making the rounds.

In the Americas, it's 'Dear Abby'.

has everyone got it in for me today

[bdbl]

Re: dear marge

These days Graham Norton is my Agony Aunt of choice and believe me he'd be more concerned about a crack in his graphite shaft [I almost posted an inadvertant and rather obscene spoonerism then ] than you seem to be.

My advice would be to take your wife firmly in hand, or vice versa, which reminds me of another risque golf joke.

[slater170]

Re: dear marge

These days Graham Norton is my Agony Aunt of choice and believe me he'd be more concerned about a crack in his graphite shaft [I almost posted an inadvertant and rather obscene spoonerism then ] than you seem to be.

My advice would be to take your wife firmly in hand, or vice versa, which reminds me of another risque golf joke.

nice one robin

[TeachingPro]

Re: dear marge

Dear Perplexed,

I'm terribly sorry to read that you have discovered your graphite shaft has been damaged. Of all the horrible things that can happen in a golfer's life, damaged or stolen equipment is almost too terrible to contemplate. Like a life-long partner/husband/wife, every golfer gets attached to their equipment and even the slighest upset can throw your life into turmoil.

It's not just the physical damage that needs to be repaired but your emotional state and confidence in the repair or replaced equipment also needs care and attention. Without confidence, a golfer's heart can't be called complete.

I honestly feel for you Perplexed and as a fellow golfer, I know the hurt and fear you are going through.

But, my dear friend, take courage ... face your worst fear and have the shaft in your driver replaced. Like a damaged marriage that cannot be repaired, a damaged shaft cannot be easily repaired. Even if repaired, it will inevitably weaken and break again. It is hard enough for you to go through one such experience.

Yours always and all the best,
Aunty Marge

P.S. As for your cheating wife, may I suggest you visit your local proshop and spoil yourself. There is nothing like spoling yourself to a new pair of FJ's to soothe the soul.

[slater170]

Re: dear marge

Dear Perplexed,

I'm terribly sorry to read that you have discovered your graphite shaft has been damaged. Of all the horrible things that can happen in a golfer's life, damaged or stolen equipment is almost too terrible to contemplate. Like a life-long partner/husband/wife, every golfer gets attached to their equipment and even the slighest upset can throw your life into turmoil.

It's not just the physical damage that needs to be repaired but your emotional state and confidence in the repair or replaced equipment also needs care and attention. Without confidence, a golfer's heart can't be called complete.

I honestly feel for you Perplexed and as a fellow golfer, I know the hurt and fear you are going through.

But, my dear friend, take courage ... face your worst fear and have the shaft in your driver replaced. Like a damaged marriage that cannot be repaired, a damaged shaft cannot be easily repaired. Even if repaired, it will inevitably weaken and break again. It is hard enough for you to go through one such experience.

Yours always and all the best,
Aunty Marge

P.S. As for your cheating wife, may I suggest you visit your local proshop and spoil yourself. There is nothing like spoling yourself to a new pair of FJ's to soothe the soul.

LMAO
graham you are bonkers mate

[TeachingPro]

Re: dear marge

It all started when I got nailed on the head by a Pinnacle. It was in 1989, so it was a REAL Pinnacle - 140 compression piece of 100% Surlyn. It wasn't one of these panzie Pinnancles they make today now that they control compression and the toxins they put in golf balls.

I took the full wack mate and I still have the scar at the back of my head with 20 - yes 20! stitch marks to prove it. People today cry when they get hit by a little old 90-compression golf ball. The people of today ...

[slater170]

Re: dear marge

It all started when I got nailed on the head by a Pinnacle. It was in 1989, so it was a REAL Pinnacle - 140 compression piece of 100% Surlyn. It wasn't one of these panzie Pinnancles they make today now that they control compression and the toxins they put in golf balls.

I took the full wack mate and I still have the scar at the back of my head with 20 - yes 20! stitch marks to prove it. People today cry when they get hit by a little old 90-compression golf ball. The people of today ...

yeah that post confirms it!

[Mox]

Re: dear marge

You lads aren't quite on the sane side of the line, are you?!

Slats - that opening joke is just classic.

Graham - Your comforting reply nearly brought tears to my eyes - oh, the empathy.

Nuts - both of you!

[slater170]

Re: dear marge

You lads aren't quite on the sane side of the line, are you?!

Slats - that opening joke is just classic.

Graham - Your comforting reply nearly brought tears to my eyes - oh, the empathy.

Nuts - both of you!

i was diagnosed as schizophrenic although im in two minds about that

[LowPost42]

Re: dear marge

i was diagnosed as schizophrenic although im in two minds about that

Ah. A poem for Slater:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm a schizophrenic,
And so am I.

[golfinguy28]

Re: dear marge

post removed