dear marge

[qassim]

Re: dear marge

A clown at the local circus was sacked yesterday but he felt he had been really hard done by.

He's suing his employers for funfair dismissal.

[slater170]

Re: dear marge

A clown at the local circus was sacked yesterday but he felt he had been really hard done by.

He's suing his employers for funfair dismissal.

how do you kill a circus?

go for the jugular!

[BrianW]

Re: dear marge

"Grandad, when will you turn into a frog?"

Why are you asking me that?

"Mum said we are going to Disney Land when you croak"

[slater170]

Re: dear marge

"Grandad, when will you turn into a frog?"

Why are you asking me that?

"Mum said we are going to Disney Land when you croak"

Jose Mourinho has quashed rumours that he is going to white hart lane to manage spurs

he said "im not that f*cking special"

[BrianW]

Re: dear marge

While working away on business recently a friend stayed in a Hotel. There was a card on the dressing table that said "Madam Tina, Exotic massage specialist, please ring this number"

Well The rest of the boys were still out drinking and he had returned early and was feeling at a loose end so thought OK why not!

He rang the number and this woman answered saying "Hello, what can I do for you?" He said I would like you to come to my room in the Feathers Hotel, rub me all over in oil and give me an exotic massage, then if possible I would like to give you one!

She replied "Maybe you would sir but you have to dial 9 for an outside line"

[qassim]

Re: dear marge

- "Doctor Doctor I've got a steering wheel stuck down the front of my underpants"

- " Does it hurt?"

- "No, but it's driving me nuts"

[Neil18]

Re: dear marge

Tony Blair met the Pope off the plane on his visit to England a couple of years back. He shook hands with him and said: "It's lovely to have you here your Grace. However I must inform you that we have no Pope-mobiles over here so you'll have to ride around in a good ol' British Rolls Royce. Is that OK?"

The Pope was pleased as punch. "Great! Best car in England! That's great news!" And off he went in the back of a chauffeur-driven Roller.

After an hour driving from the airport he gets a bit bored and can't resist asking the chauffeur a question. "Excuse me Mr chauffeur. This is, in my humble opinion, the best car in England. It seems an awful shame that I have come all this way just to sit in one and not drive it. Would you mind?"

The chauffeur has a think and decides that he could do with a break and it would be nice to be driven around for a change, so he pulls over and the Pope takes the wheel.

Whooooooooooooooooooooooosh! Off goes the Pope up the M1 at break-neck speed. Needless to say, it isn't long before the Fuzz are on his tail and pull the speeding Rolls Royce over.

The PC walks up to the blacked out drivers window and knocks on it. The window slides down. The officer stares with a quizzical look on his face and slowly makes his way back to his car.

He picks up the radio to speak to HQ.

"Sarg" he says, hesitantly, "Er..............I've pulled a Roller over for doing 100mph on the M1 and.......................er"

The sarg on the other end of the phone states the obvious and tells the PC: "Well what's the problem? Just get on with it and book him!"

PC: "It's not quite as simple as that Sarg"

Sarg: "Oh no. You haven't pulled over a member of the Royal family again have you?"

PC: "No Sarg"

Sarg: "Oh blimey it's not the Prime Minister is it?"

PC: No Sarg"

Sarg: "Well what's the bloody problem then? Who is it?"

PC: Well Sarg, I don't know who it is, but he must be feckin important coz the Pope's his chauffeur!"